Reading Remus
by mackitten
Summary: It took Sirius four days to learn to read James Potter, four months to learn to read Peter Pettigrew and four years to learn to read Remus Lupin. [SBRL slash]


It took Sirius four days to learn to read James Potter, four months to learn to read Peter Pettigrew and four years to learn to read Remus Lupin.

Remus was tricky because he rarely said what he was thinking. When James was hungry, he usually announced loudly that he was hungry. When Peter was hungry, he would usually wait until James' announcement and then agree that he was hungry as well. Remus never said he was hungry; you had to read his stomach sounds, and then confront him on when he had last eaten. Then you would get the boy a sandwich from the house elves and that was that. It wasn't that Remus couldn't get his own sandwiches – he just hated to inconvenience anyone. He never said when anything bothered him; you just sort of had to read the signals he didn't know he was giving and fix what was wrong.

After Christmas holidays in fifth year, Sirius began to get some strange signals from Remus. Subtle things, but not too subtle to go unnoticed. Sirius noticed the way Remus would look away when their eyes met, or the way he would come and watch him and James at Quidditch practice, which he had never done before. He cited Prefect duties, but Sirius knew better. He reckoned Remus Lupin had a crush on him.

At first it amused him. It amused him how Remus would look up at him over his book with his big hazel eyes and then look quickly back down when Sirius caught him, as if he was actually reading. It amused him how Remus blushed when Sirius accidentally on purpose brushed his hand in the hall or when he was reaching for the salt at dinner. It amused him how Remus would sit next to him in class so they could pass notes back and forth during History of Magic.

Then it scared him, just a little. It scared him a little the way he would look forward to Quidditch practice because Remus' eyes would be following his every move. It scared him that he enjoyed their subtle touches and enjoyed teasing Remus by coming out of the shower in nothing but a towel. Those things scared him a little, but it terrified him to discover one day in February that Remus Lupin wasn't the only one with a crush.

Then it just irritated him. He wished Remus would just say something. Well, say something meaningful. Remus said lots without really saying anything. The way he casually asked Sirius if he was okay after he got a howler from his mother really said that Remus cared about him and was concerned. The way he remarked, "Is that a new shirt?" really said that he noticed that Sirius was looking good. When he didn't look away when Sirius caught him staring, he clearly said, "I want you."

When Sirius asked Remus what he wanted for his birthday in a week, Remus looked up at him, shrugged and said, "I don't know." Sirius nodded and wondered if Remus knew that he had just told Sirius exactly what he wanted. It would take planning and stealth, Sirius thought, but he thought he could do it. He could give Remus exactly what he wanted for his birthday.

On March 10th around eight o'clock, Peter and James were sneaking down to the kitchen to convince the house elves to make a cake. Sirius told them to make sure it was layered and extravagant. The more time the better, he reasoned. Around ten after eight, Sirius and Remus were sitting on Remus' bed, almost accidentally on purpose touching. Remus was sitting at the head, leaning against the headboard and Sirius was sitting on the edge, his hand very close to Remus' foot.

"Are you ready for your present?" Sirius asked, trying to hide his nervousness behind a grin.

Remus nodded.

"Close your eyes," Sirius instructed. Remus did. Sirius crawled up towards the headboard and froze. He could hear Remus' breath coming in little puffs.

"Sirius?" he asked.

"Hold on," Sirius answered distantly. He climbed carefully over Remus' limbs until he was so close that if Remus were to open his eyes, he would have able to count the speckles of yellow in his hazel eyes. He licked Remus' lips with his tongue quickly. Remus gasped and opened his mouth slightly. Sirius took the opportunity to kiss him. He held his lips against Remus' until he felt Remus respond. Remus made a little whimpering sound and Sirius pulled back, afraid that he had been reading Remus wrong this whole time and that Remus really didn't want him at all.

Remus' eyes shot open. "What was that?"

"Your present," Sirius answered sheepishly. "I thought that you might, you know, er, want that…"

"Oh, I do," Remus said breathlessly. "I do want that."

Sirius grinned, so relieved that he felt tears sting his eyes. Remus reached up to his collar and tugged him towards him. Sirius happily complied.

As they kissed, Remus made many little noises much to Sirius' delight. He later learned that none of them meant stop. Rather, they all meant different things: a little whimper meant, _Oh god_, and a groan could be read as, _Oh yes, so good. _A breathless, '_Sirius'_ meant _Is this real? Are you really here doing this? _and Sirius responded in turn with a throaty '_Remus' _to assure him. And just when he thought he had really learned to read Remus Lupin, Remus would make another little noise like a sigh and Sirius would set out learning exactly what that meant.

It was a hard job, translating Remus-speak into Sirius-speak, but Sirius was happy to be the one to do it. Especially later when they would hold each other in the night and Remus would snuggle in closer to his shoulder. If Sirius listened closely he could hear Remus mumble something halfway into sleep and he would smile because he knew that to mean _I love you and no other_. He would respond in turn with a kiss to the top of Remus' head and they would be able to sleep contentedly knowing that the most important things were the things that went unsaid.


End file.
